Written by Faith-Ann English
life has taught me
that lies are gospel truth.
every lie to escape the lips
is the holy word.
the voices of the clergy
ring in my head—
italicized.
don't sit like that.
it’s not ladylike!
don't let anyone touch you
where you shouldn't be touched.
do what is right.
I molded myself into a temptation
because I wanted to be desired
but, I'm tired of them asking—
what are you wearing?
I pronounce to myself
it’s okay
they’re attracted to me
they want me—
it's a lie.
they want what I have sacrificed.
I’m too much,
yet not enough for them to love.
my self-invalidation
offers others an invitation
to accept the alter call,
and desecrate my body’s sanctuary—
to leave nothing
but the smallest speck
of self-hatred disguised as
acceptance.
- habits of a girl who hated herself